From the Country to the City Pt. 1

"Family is not just an important thing, it's Everything." -Michael J. Fox

As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be different.. Why fit in when you were born to stand out? Now as an adult humility plays its role but I still feel a need to stand out. BE DIFFERENT, or at the least take a different path from what I have walked in the last 15 to 20 years. What do I have to lose. Selfishness, greed, lust, entitled, just to name a few things about how I lived through my late teens and 20’s. What gave me the idea that something was deserved or owed to me I'm not sure but I’ve learned to value putting in work.
Growing up in the countryside atmosphere with both parents home at the time really gave me the comfort of feeling secure and relaxed. Oblivious to the real world at the age of 13 one could say a kid would have had it made. Sports practices, help with homework, a sister, gaming console, decent clothes nothing too overboard, go-kart, basketball goal, life wasn’t bad for the late mid 90’s. My biggest worry would be who’s first in the house to get the TV remote after school.
In school I had friends, family, girlfriend, and what I thought to be enemies but they really were family trying to get me out of a box I had put myself in trying to “fit in”. But that’s another story. As I was saying school was good, standing out was a norm besides I still felt different from others. Not better just  different. Blessed with a big imagination, always pondering what was to come in the future. Things I wanted or was planning to try would often flash before my eyes.. For example in fourth grade I knew exactly who I would take to Prom in high school. And yep , “I did that.” Simple things were easy to see ahead. I often wondered why I would think of these certain things and what was next to come. I even saw the split of my parents before it actually happened. What I didn’t see was what was ahead for me during my teen aged years.
From the country style living straight to the city. Corner stores, street lights, and  closer neighbors to say the least. Mom didn’t want my sister and I in the city schools really so, we spent most of the first year attending a county school on the outskirts of the city, Hermitage high school. Still a big difference especially with the food selections for lunch. They had everything from Subway to Taco Bell in the school. Lunch time for a 15 year old couldn’t be any better. Only down side is you might not have “5 on it” after school because you ate so good for lunch. There were two different cafeterias and they were jammed packed. Kids everywhere. I only knew my older cousin Angel and the friends she introduced me to. My sister still in 7th grade went to the middle school at the time. Needless to say I definitely felt different coming to the school in the middle of the year. I was now the new kid. It seemed like the rest of that year flew by pretty quick. Eventually the constant traveling and getting off the bus at my Aunt’s house became too much for a single mom to have to endure. My 10th grade year I was the new kid again at John Marshall High School this time. Located maybe about 2 miles from our house in the city it didn’t take long before I ended up fitting right in. My closest cousin Ross pretty much a brother to me attended the school too. Well known and like by his peers I had no problem meeting and greeting. I had lived in the city for a year before attending so of course I knew a few other people as well.
I can’t forget the mornings walking down the street to the corner a block down to wait for the bus in the morning. Once at the school walking in I had to go to the 2nd floor for my homeroom. Passing by others you could smell a hint of marijuana coming off of people from time to time. By the time you’d reached the 2nd floor all you could smell was black and mild cigar smoke with a mix of cigarette smoke. This was mainly because the doors on the bathroom had been removed to detect smoking or hear fighting, I don’t know maybe they just didn’t want to fix them. That didn’t stop us from smoking in the bathrooms though. As I said it didn’t take long to “fit in”. I thought it was a whole different world compared to the country schools I grew up in. Hell, one cigarette being in your book bag might have been 3 to 5 days suspension in the county. You might even have to go before the damn school board. But in the city no worries. There wasn’t a call home if you ditched class, all you had to do was be present for homeroom in the morning. After about two weeks went by I was made a tutor in the Spanish class and got moved up from my Algebra class to the class with the Seniors. It wasn’t that they were saying how smart I was or anything, it was just because of the classes I had taken in the recent years in county schools. Our 10th grade was the cities 12th as far as math went.. At least the classes I had taken anyway. Now I was “different” again back to my norm in a sense. The principal made the switch right when I was in my math class and walked me to algebra 2 with the 11th and 12th grade students.. Most of the students in the class were girls. Some already mother’s mainly taking life a little more seriously at the time because of their early parenthood now that I look at it from a 34 year old perspective. “What you supposed to be smart or something?” One of the girls asked seating in the desk in front of me. Being put  on the spot with the older peers now looking at me, I decided to tell the truth, “Not really I'm just supposed to be in Algebra 2”. At this point I felt “different” again but it wasn’t the norm for me.
Eventually I took it that different or standing out wasn’t the best thing through out the inner halls of the city school. Not so much for the new kid anyway so I fell back a little.. Made sure I “fit in”.
My first girl friend I claimed, got jumped at lunch by a girl that had liked me and her friends.. Unfortunate but I still thought that was pretty crazy. So, I had to at least find out who the girl was right? Ewwhh she was a mess so that temporary curiosity and anxiety left quick. I had only dated the girlfriend for a day or two at that point, geeze, it was tough out there. So for the rest of the year I pretty much didn’t have a girlfriend that was an off time for me. Kept the options open though I guess.
As the year went on I did get into somethings I shouldn’t have but, again fitting in became the norm. First it began with regular smoke breaks in the bathrooms. Even with no door on the restroom on the second floor we still smoked regularly. You could even buy weed in the bathroom if you wanted. Mornings started off with the usual handshakes with the fellas and a Newport before homeroom. Some of the kids smoked black and milds but I had smoked plenty of them since the age of twelve in the country with the older cousins. Anyway throughout the year I realized that as long as you were in homeroom at the beginning of the day you were pretty much counted for attending that day. So when school became boring my cousin Ross and I would leave. We either walked to his older family members house, his Granny’s house, my uncle’s apartment, or a friend’s. The friend lived right across the street in some apartments. Smoking, music, and talking to the girls pretty much throughout the year was how life went. No focus on my future or how I was letting my mom down. The school year continued on without one call from a principal or main office. Not even a letter mailed home for skipping. As I said totally different from the New Kent school system I had grew up in. Even Hermitage high school would’ve called or something. I remember smoking weed at the school a first for me, not smoking, but smoking in the school. The Science hall had an exit at the end of it and you had to turn left and go down some stairs to get to doors which would lead out to the football field. My homeroom was actually the first class on the left when we’d g back up the stairs. Anyway Ross, my cousin, had a half of a blunt in his Newport pack and said let’s light it up.. I was like you crazy man you serious? Yea he said ain’t no one coming. So we cracked the door at the bottom of the steps and lite it up.. Puff puff pass and the rest was history.  I was like this is crazy to myself. Smoking in school, cool I thought. Not smart but cool none the less. Of course I slipped back into class and by the time the bell ring for 1st period the hall reeked of strong marijuana. Just another day in the city. The day went on I ate good at lunch of course. Speaking of lunch, I picked up on the kids who would use a code or letter and number combination for lunch and would get it free. So one day I tried it as well and sure enough I got my tray and milk and enjoyed a free lunch.. Bingo, no longer paying for lunch.. I never told my mom about the free lunch but I would always get the lunch money from her daily. Obviously I had “5 on it” after school now. Fitting in..

continued on part 2.. “From the Country to the City”

-FLOETSPEAR

IG: xclsve
Facebook: Robert floetspear Taylor III
Twitter: acbobbyt
Snapchat: xclsve1