A Letter to 2020

 

Dear 2020,

    As the 2020 year comes to an end many people find themselves less than optimistic for the next year. Since March, here in Virginia, we have been experiencing the effects of a Pandemic, loss of life, more isolation, extended time with household members (Families and Roommates, …), division (promoted by Media, and other platforms), exposing social injustice, social distancing, protests, riots, extended unemployment, loss of careers, and loss of homes. Needless to say we would love to forget this year. I read that from chaos, you have two options, and they are panic and opportunity. This is visible with the rioting and distress seen on social media, in our neighborhoods, and depression experienced by humans around the world. In regard to opportunity, the investors of the world have seen some big jumps in their stakes with Medical stocks and Tech, along with several others. It almost doesn't seem fair how companies like Amazon and Walmart thrive while your local businesses suffer and in some cases lay off their life long employees with no idea when they will be able to return to work, or career. 

    Now in December, almost everyone wears a mask, refuses to shake hands, no hugs (love) and in some cases will not leave their homes to visit friends or family. Thus, leaving the world open to false news ads, political unrest, and public displays of aggression between peers, family, and strangers over a social media platform. In grocery stores, we have seen shortages throughout the year and the inflation of cost for goods and supplies. Before I go any further, I want to thank all of the essential workers for working throughout the year with no break insight or additional Cares Act pay, especially the nurses and doctors first and foremost. Not to leave out the McDonald's or grocery store workers either. They never stopped their routine in the face of the world attempting to do their best to hide behind closed doors. Again, thank you. 

    Stimulus checks went out, Extra Care additional funds, and others perks were available but unfortunately not all of the citizens reaped the benefits. Many of those that did, spent it all instead of saving it for the upcoming trials and challenges. Now, they suffer from not knowing where their income will come from, especially when your job has closed or furloughed you. One thing I've learned and noticed is the "powers that be" are getting better at using the media platforms to control/confuse the masses. From rioting in the streets to promoting political views, and now causing people to not believe in the integrity of our own democracy, the media is scary today. On the other end though, churches are closed or at minimum capacity, but people still find a way to indulge in their religious practices. Families still have small gatherings and people still reach out to people via internet and cell phones. It has always been my belief that the good will always outweigh the bad, no matter what we may see on TV. Another harsh reality is the Covid -19 Virus is real and many families have lost loved ones.

    We've learned to survive all throughout our history so I don't expect this to be any different, but 2020, I wont miss you at all. You took Kobe, Kobe though?? We've watched a basketball season in a "bubble" and baseball season with little to no fans. At one point all we had was Korean baseball to watch for live sports. Football is played with little to no crowds but the fans cheer with digital and soundbite additions. Date nights with wives and husbands have been altered, and not to mention divorces have went to an all time high this year. You learned who you're living with this year, didn't you? Some bonds became even stronger. Kids began virtual school in preparation for college as parents scrambled to find supervision, and searched for answers on google as we help with homework. Other parents headed to work while the kids played in the streets or hung out with friends. 

This is the life given to us for 2020. It is up to you to make the best of it and take advantage of the chaos. Find your opportunities, mind your surroundings and look out for those who cant. This too, shall pass.

    

America's Love for the Bad and the Ugly

 

    How many times have you rooted for the bad guy? Think about it. We loved Arnold's character in the first Terminator, Pacino in Scarface, El Padron in Narcos, and on and on. Studies have shown when it comes to TV shows and Media, the audience loves a little action whether it's good or bad. In fact, the bad gets the most attention. The same goes for social media. I.E. Whenever there's a good dispute everyone chimes in with their opinion and even more people read the threads. People cant get enough of the rage and verbal jousting. This proved to be the case in the 2016 Presidential debate between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton. Obviously Trump was more aggressive with his verbiage as he entertained the audience while debating to be the "Leader of the Free World."Boy did he know how to work the crowd and it was entertaining. Before the 2016 election, some could have considered Trump a slight underdog, maybe. In many cases we all love a good underdog, not so much with Trump for some but you get where I'm going. 

    But where or when did we alter our tolerance for the new normal, in regard to conversations and disagreements? Allow me to give an opinion. First, in the late 90's and early 2000's there was the Jerry Springer show, remember..? All kinds of hell broke loose on that show and the ratings went through the roof. America couldn't get enough of the torn families, disappointing stories and lengthy arguments among spouses. Don't forget the exciting DNA results that were revealed. How many of us couldn't wait for that volcano to explode? Then, a few years later after the more level headed viewers began to complain the show faded as the dramatic confrontations were dialed down. Next, we were introduced to Jersey Shore followed by Bad Girls Club. America continued to indulge in watching people make fools of themselves whether it was scripted or unscripted. Kids continued to watch. Once producers realized what they had with this they took it to another level, often hiding it behind the upper class environments and titles like The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Orange County, New York City and so on. Then, came Love and Hip Hop more and more people were tuning in and watching drinks being thrown on each other during dinners, lunches, and even breakfast sometimes. People congregating as friends then talking about the first person who leaves the room. Even engaging in adultery and cheating in relations hips with friends and so on.

    Make no mistake, this type of mind control wasn't just discovered. It was well-known for many decades. The news channels got the best rating when they covered a war or a major crisis. Even then certain forms of sharing the news and world events were censored. Now, the censorship has been lifted from these networks and our children see what we had to stay up until 11pm to see, at dinner time. The difference in the 90's was you could turn it off, not read it, or tune it out. Now, the chaos is everywhere from the TV, at work, school, to the smartphone which encourages you to download social media apps. Once the government realized what the "blue app" (FB) was they bought that as well. It wasn't just that it was such a great platform, it was the knowing of how great of a tool it was. A mind altering tool in fact. Most people today do not even know why they keep seeing the same type of videos or same topics everyday and throughout the day. The reason is because this app builds an algorithm that is designed to identify what your interest are. In other words the stuff you like is what the app will continue to pump through your new feeds. I.E. If you like street fights, you get street fight videos, if you like street cars you get more street car videos. I.E. Drag races and low riders, etc... Similar to the quote from the book "As a Man Thinketh," where it was stated, bad trees can only bare bad fruit and good trees will only bare good fruit. It has been a while since I've read that book but you get the message. 

    A documentary I watched a couple years ago, detailed the threats of Facebook, and how if used in the wrong way, it would have a negative impact on many of its users. Just as a kid can become addicted to a video game, an adult can share the same addiction with their social media apps. Some of the guest in that documentary included some elite men in the world such as Warren Buffet and even Bill Gates. Did you know that many algorithm writers, or developers and psychologists, including "world elites" stated that they would never have a "blue app" account because they were aware of what type of mind altering tool it was? 

Reaping What You Sow

    Do not assume the title is anything different from what it says. You will reap what you sow and that goes for anyone and everything. Think about the things you see happen or the things you've seen people do and decisions he or she has made. That voice inside sometimes tells you its going to be hell to pay when xyz comes back around. Recalling a statement from the book "As a Man Thinketh" by James Allen, the author wrote Good thoughts bare good fruits, and Bad thoughts bare bad fruits. Or, every man is where he is in life because of his thoughts and actions. Thus, bad choices will have consequences that one must ultimately endure. With that in mind the Bible says, "Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life." 

    Following several self evaluation reviews and hours of reflection, I wanted to do my best to attempt to right any wrongs within my life. This included apologizing for anything I had done to hurt someone, or at least addressing any issues I thought caused another to view my choices or actions with any form of resentment. Obviously, people are going to judge or feel a certain way about you regardless of the success or failures, but I felt it was important for me to at least clear my conscience. Freeing one's mind of any guilt will allow you to move forward in your personal growth. As far as what someone else chooses to do, or feel, that my friend is out of your control. Don't worry about it.

    People often misunderstand or are oblivious to the consequences of their actions. People will treat others badly or even judge, and look down on others as if they will never make a mistake or come across their own challenges. We have to remind ourselves that we too, do not always get it right. How you choose to treat others and the bridges burned, can isolate you to the point where there is no one left for you and your thoughts, or friendship. No one left that wants to hear your complaints, or bare your burdens. No one to lift you up in your time of need or pull you out of those dark clouds. Reaping what you sow refers to the fact that you are likely to receive the same problems that you create for other people.

Looking Back, What Have You Done?

    The other night I watched a documentary titled, "Bernie Mac, In His Own Words." It was a good story on his life, health and his success in Hollywood as an comedian, actor, husband, and father. One quote he shared from his mom was "if you don't have, learn how to do without." I thought that was a great piece of advice for a young man growing up in poverty, or with less than average. In addition, he mentioned how it felt to look back over his accomplishments and the feeling of satisfaction it brought. Bernie Mac did what he loved to do and eventually got paid for it. Ultimately, as a child he learned he wanted to make sure his mom was always happy and not crying. Bill Cosby kept her smiling, and he noticed that at a young age. Well in doing so, as far as comedy and doing what he enjoyed, throughout life he earned rewards made his family proud and provided a living. After he reached his forties, even with his illness, he made an impact on the world and experienced some of his greatest success. Bringing laughter to people around the world was his thing and he only planned on keeping his mom smiling at a young age. The point is if you can find what you're good at keep doing it and make an impact others as you go. Make sure when you leave this Earth, they remember you, and remember the things you stood for.  

    At the age of 36, I am fully aware I have plenty of life left to live and strive to achieve a thing or two. Currently, I am rereading "Think and Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill and one entry stated that most of the successful men reach some of their biggest success after the age of 40. Needless to say, I am prepping myself daily for the 40's. Looking back on my accomplishments, I don't think I have contributed much to the world yet. My biggest accomplishment is my son though. That's the best project I like working on, and seeing his development. But outside of that what have you really accomplished? Are you proud of your accomplishments, or what do you plan to accomplish?

    I've completed a couple of Degree's but still under $40,000 for an annual salary. I would like to make a bit more to be honest and will continue to learn. That's definitely on my to do list and trust me I am putting in the applications. Let's see I have... Well, I enjoyed coaching a little league basketball team some years back and training investigators to identify internal losses, but I have yet to establish how I plan to leave the world better then I found it. Everyone has an idea of what they think they should do or what they want to do, but normally we do not put any action behind it. I attempted to start a Men's Empowerment group with in my community and partner with my Pastor but the first meeting didn't have that big of a turn out. For those who did show up we were able to discuss how we grade our priorities and the importance of each to our way of life. It was very informative meeting and I prepared myself to be able to answer questions and challenge the thoughts of the participants. I decided that maybe I didn't get as many to show, as I had messages from, because of my lack of accomplishments. I figured maybe they didn't believe I was actually living and doing the things I was sharing. Of course my Pastor knew my dedication but maybe I didn't have enough of a foundation to pull others in. Therefor, I briefly discontinued the meetings. It was a learning risks of course but it was something I can still see myself doing. It gives you a good feeling when you assist another or brainstorm with like minds. 

    Recently the books I've read, challenged the balance of today's world and the doings of the Country's past. I would like to help others accordingly, or even educated them on various topics, like finances and importance of education. Not just education of grammar, or 2 plus 2, but education on your surroundings, county leaders, real-estate, self-awareness. There's no doubt that most people are a product of their own environment. Then, there's the thought that everyman is where he is in life because of his thoughts. Thus, self awareness is vital in establishing your goals and who you are and want to be. In my opinion, before one can help others, he must understand the importance of helping himself. Identify who you are then what you want to do for others, if that's a goal for you. Make sure when you leave this Earth, they remember you, and remember the things you stood for.  

    

The Interracial Couples

 

    As a person in an interracial relationship I wanted to share some of the views and experiences that these couples endure. In addition, I want the reader to reflect and share their thoughts as well. The "interracial couple" has always existed and has always been scrutinized in some shape or form. It was only a few years ago that big company's and marketing teams started running their ads with the interracial family in the forefront. With the social injustice and hate crime topics circulating around the world and into the homes of the masses, only the ones living within the interracial homes will have to mind the different opinions and views. Obviously, one will relate to the other and some will beg to differ on some topics but at the end of the day the truth is the truth and right is right and wrong is wrong, however you slice it.   

    I met my wife in 2006 and I had dated outside of my race but nothing really serious enough to have anyone meet the parents, etc... As an African American male in high-school, I kept a girlfriend or female friend. In most cases they were all African American. In my school there were no where near as many blacks as there were whites but everyone seemed to have gotten along. This was a small single-A school at the time, located in Virginia, about 15 miles outside of Richmond, Va. I recall a Valentine's day in the 7th grade where I briefly called a white girl my girl friend and I was her boyfriend. I brought her several roses and some chocolates too. Well my mom bought me some chocolates and some flowers and I took them to school to share with my new friend. She was very pretty at the time and I wasn't getting along with any of my exes so hey seemed right to me. It wasn't until another 15 years or so that she told me how the black girls had given her a hard time about receiving the flowers and being my girlfriend. Moreover in the later years the black girls she referred to recalled the situation and stated their opinion, or jealousy, about the relationship as well. I had no issues with it personally, but it was interesting to hear from both sides and how they felt. Thinking back, I could have been in the company of a lot more white girls but whose to say they weren't avoiding the negative vibes and drama from the black girls in the school. 

    These occurrences more than likely took place on both sides as well as in other schools and around the world. As kids, we were in many cases, oblivious to these behind the scene gestures and actions. Born in the 80's, and watching 90's shows, we were used to seeing Shows like "Saved by Bell", "Boy Meets World", 'Family Matters", "Full House", "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "90210", "A Different World", "Married with Children", "Martin" etcc... Movies like "Clueless", "A Bronx Tale", "Boyz in the Hood", "Menace to Society" etc... They each had their own version of what life was and who hung out with who. There were pretty white actors and pretty black actors. Men could easily be attracted to both of the movie's or show's main characters. We never thought, as we got older, that we would only be able to choose the companion who resembled our own complexion. Or that it was frowned upon by others as opposed to saying we were only able to date within our race. I loved Kelly Kaposki and Lisa Turtle in "Saved by the Bell." Then, there was Stacey Dash in "Clueless" and "Topanga" in "Boy Meets World." I found all of them to be very attractive. At school, we made certain girls out to be the filler for the TV stars we watched at home. In my case, most of the black girls were cousins or distant relatives so that didn't leave many options.

    By the time I was 15,  my parents had already separated so we moved to the city. In the public schools in the city there weren't many whites at all. In fact, there weren't any outside of the special needs classes. I had no problem with the black girls as a light skinned African American. I say that to say this, there I developed a mental attachment to the black females, opposing anything outside of them. This was merely derived from my surroundings as I had grown up with the whites being the more prevalent race in the county. When I moved back to graduate from the county,  I still had the city mentality, so I missed a lot of the good get-togethers and old friendships, as I had unknowingly been brainwashed into believing I was "too cool" or wasn't wanted in the other crowds. This was all wrong as I had been liked by all before I moved to the city. Till this day, I'm sure some old friends found me to be a little different or distant when I came back. Now 36, with a white wife, living in 2020 in Virginia, during the Pandemic, and in the extended fight for Social Injustice, along with it being an Election year it has definitely brought up some topics on Social Media and within the household. I can't see how these conversations or Facebook videos would have missed other's houses as well. 

    Make no mistake racism is real and it's not just a black and white thing, nor is is a brown or yellow thing, and so on. Within the interracial couple's experiences you'll have family members and acquaintances that do not approve of your significant other. This is relevant at family gatherings, family members birthdays and other events. The disrespect from others is talked about within the couple's household as well. Many times it's brushed off with comments like, "they're old school" or "dont worry about it, she or he has always been like that." The fact of the matter is it's wrong and makes people uncomfortable thus, resulting in family avoiding family because of how they've made your significant other feel. Family will argue with family as well as learn the feelings of their loved ones who they've grown up with their entire life. "Why do you want to marry a white girl?," or "You couldn't find someone your dad or mom would approve of?" "You know the family is not going to approve of that colored boy, or that Indian girl, etc.." "I wouldn't tell your grandma that you're dating him yet, she's going to have a heart attack." These are the type of things people have to hear after choosing someone they want to be with. Who the hell are you to judge or question another's decision regarding who they love? These are the stigmas that need to be broken and addressed. In some cases, I've heard of families disowning a child because of them dating outside of their race. Cutting them out of family pictures and never speaking their names. In the last 15 years, I have seen a lot of interracial couples, babies and families. I've noticed many of us have similar couples as friends as well. Its like a group of interracial couples taking trips and having game nights together. I don't know whether its due to us experiencing the same things with our families or is it just because we wont have to worry about the comments and looks. I get the same bush league comments or vibes from some women just as I did in middle school. I am sure my wife has friends she grew up with who wonder why she dates a black man, and not a good ole boy with a big truck, who likes chewing "bacca." Or a white collared CEO or lawyer with an estate and 1000 shares of Capitol One stock inherited from a late relative or a PhD from Harvard. I'm referring to black and white when it comes to CEOs and graduates from Harvard. The fact of the matter is people like and love who they chose to like and love. 

     I like when the racists grandpa or grandma has to hold that colored or white baby in their arms and try not to love them. That's what breaks through the hatred that's been passed on through the generations. Recently, I've had the pleasure of reading Booker T. Washington's, "The Future of the American Negro",  Carter G. Woodson's book, "The Mis-Education of the Negro", and The Collected Works of Frederick Douglass. In all of these books a lot of the settings were in my home state Virginia. Less than 200 years ago in many cases. I learned that "Massa" had no problem stating his claim to multiple female slaves in which they would often leave out of their "Big-house", plantation homes, to fornicate with the opposite race. Many times with the wife knowing and later whipping the female slave during daily encounters throughout the years. This is not to say some of the women didn't find the opposite race attractive as well, but none the less, interracial interaction has been around for quite some time. I am an African American with Indian in me, and I possess green eyes, so I'm fully aware of the interactions in that sense too. I've also learned, my Mom's maiden name Dungee originated from the Dungeness Colony in Europe. The Taylor side more then likely worked in the fields here in Virginia and along the East Coast. I say that to say this, my mom is light as day along with her father and his grandmother was white. We have been integrated with one another since the beginning of history. Moreover humans will remain to be human and fall for temptations and act on emotions. By the way, it turns out that Indians and Caucasians make some pretty good looking babies when it comes to my Great Great Grandparents. Powhatan clan. What's your view on the interracial couples?

Surviving 2020 The Mental Pandemic

 

    What's up fans and followers!?! Missed you guys, but I am back in front of my computer and sharing some thoughts and experiences from 2020 so far. August 31, 2020, I completed my Master's in Cyber Security which was a challenge I accepted in 2018. I wanted to do something outside of my norm, plus it seems as if this is the way of future as we enter the 5G and the Cloud technology of today's world. One more goal removed from the list. With the last 6 months being about COVID-19 and it's changes to the world, we were all witnesses to marches, riots, looting, social injustices, and other violent acts while the world continues to turn. Some have lost their jobs, savings, relatives, and hundreds of thousands have even lost their lives. I was even partially furloughed for a short period of time and had to file for unemployment while still participating in my online studies. This is a challenging time for everyone around the globe none the less people are still finding a way to survive. 

    With the news giving us bits and pieces of what they want us to see we must still believe in ourselves and humanity as we remain firm on our pursuit of happiness. Everyone wont share the same goals or same beliefs and that's okay. We shouldn't judge one another as we all have to find our paths, regardless of our previous journey. As a citizen who has been able to vote for 18 years now, I am beginning to understand the strategies of political parties during election years but not quite sure if the goals of the parties. The media has a stronghold on the minds of the uneducated and has the ability to bend the ear or draw the eyes of the weary or bored patron who really has no interest for media and politics. Social media on the other hand, exploits the sensitivity of topics and it's algorithms capitalizes on your strengths and weaknesses, which can cause pain and suffering of the mind or even blacken the hearts of the good. Discussions about our surroundings and happenings continue at work or at social gatherings among friends and family. Some even altering the atmosphere with in the job or vibe of the conversation. Thus, causing anger towards one another due to a lack of each other empathizing with one another. The world is already hurting enough try not not to spread the negativity as you go about your day.   

    Anyway, as the school year ended for me I was able to obtain a new position within in the company where I am currently employed. This position allows me to be home before dinner now and no more missing my son's away basketball games or family events. I have enjoyed eating breakfast at breakfast time, lunch at lunch time, and dinner at, well you get the picture. Now, with the 20 or so hours freed up from my usual schedule I am searching for a new challenge or new source of additional income. I enjoy the free time but I am fully aware of the time that has been restored to my life which could lead to the learning of a trade, or new practice to increase knowledge and wealth. A lot the evening is spent with training my son's mind and getting him to see the world for what it is and not what it appears to be on Facebook and Instagram. 

    My belief is that if I can get him to think like a 25 year-old at 16, then once he becomes a 21 year-old he will understand what it is to be 30 and own his own house, car, savings account, financial investments, and assets. It's evident that schools are now rushing kids through the grades as well as in may states teaching the same things that have been taught for the past 30 or 40 years. Many of those lessons are irrelevant in the new technical world. What is he to learn about saving money or how to conduct himself in a job interview? Practicing good computing ethics and morals, along with building character is necessary. Understanding how to lose or how to fail, or lifting the next man up while he's down. Charitable causes and understanding that you have to be twice as good as others to be recognized for a position in some cases. Or, understanding that your own family may not have your best interests, not because they don't want you to win in life, but because maybe no one showed them how to win, live, save money, etc... 

    If it's one thing I've learned this year, it is the fact that people who check on you, love you, and they do it out of love. When we were quarantined people reached out to those they cared about. They checked on them asked about their family and if they had enough to eat or needed supplies. I'm not in the business of impressing no one or living up to someone's standard. I want to grow in order to help others grow. I strategically plan and assess the things I want out of life and what will benefit those close to me. There's no dollar amount for mental stability and genuine love. Thus, you have to love who you are and what you do. The media will have you believe everything is falling apart but the reality is if you're not listening to the media or absorbing the fictitious content, your life is going the way you want it to go. In other words, you are in control of your actions and thoughts.